[fete (noun) - a festive celebration or entertainment]
I love to entertain. I love all aspects of the process. As the saying goes "give me an hour and I will find a reason to celebrate."
After one of my events, at least one of my friends will say, "I had the best time - the next one's on me" and that will be the end of that. It's sort of like saying "let's do lunch."
I am sure everyone absolutely means it when they say it, if even for a simple second. Shortly after that second however, the reality of the whole matter starts weighing down on them, at least from their point of view. Suddenly entertainment-phobia takes hold. Heads start pounding and screechy internal voices start saying:
I love to entertain. I love all aspects of the process. As the saying goes "give me an hour and I will find a reason to celebrate."
After one of my events, at least one of my friends will say, "I had the best time - the next one's on me" and that will be the end of that. It's sort of like saying "let's do lunch."
I am sure everyone absolutely means it when they say it, if even for a simple second. Shortly after that second however, the reality of the whole matter starts weighing down on them, at least from their point of view. Suddenly entertainment-phobia takes hold. Heads start pounding and screechy internal voices start saying:
"what was I thinking?
- now I'll have to clean my house,
- go grocery shopping,
- think of which of my other friends to invite,
- figure out a date that everyone can come,
- what will I make,
- gee, I don't have enough chairs and I don't have enough glasses,
- are my friends going to think less of me if I serve wine in these disposable plastic glasses?
- I dont even know which wine to buy,
- I dont have time to make a dessert,
- in fact I dont have time for any of this, crikey!! how am I going to get out of this?"
Not surprisingly, selective memory takes over. They "forget" themselves off the hook, until the next time, when they come up with a very paltry excuse. It doesn't have to be this way. It really isn't rocket science, it just takes learning a few basics and then like everything else, practice, practice, practice. Like sex, the fun is in the practicing, only here you get to be around your wonderful friends, who by the way, love you for who you are, and are simply glad to have a chance to get together and let their hair down.
Now maybe because I have been having people over for most of my adult life, and because in my youth I was exposed to many of the inputs into successful entertaining by a mother that had a similar passion, that I find the process from start to end invigorating. I will admit that it's exhausting, but then I also think the end justifies the means. For me the whole purpose of entertaining is to be able to form relationship bonds or nurture those relationships that you have already formed.
Having genuine relationships are important to me, so I believe in being genuine in my entertaining. Who I am, and how I live on a daily basis are integral to my way of entertaining. For me my event has to reflect the real me. It's never about impressing my guests. It's more about sharing an inviting environment that is purposely sprinkled with food, drink and activities and something of special interest to my guests. OK, so they probably will be impressed, because I am into details. And, really it is all in the details. When you entertain out of love, you seek to find the details that will make your guests feel special.
My sister didn't believe she could have a party in her two-bedroom apartment. Well maybe not a soiree for fifty people, but having a dinner party for ten to 12 people, and even 20, was certainly do-able, as she found out, sit-down or buffet.
Now because I love to entertain so much, and because my personal budget for entertaining is certainly not open-ended, though it may appear that way, I have had to be creative in making my "special" events special, which is why I call my parties Frugal Fetes. Fetes being a carryover from my college days, when we spent a lot of time, more that I care to admit, feting. Though I call my events frugal, no-one in attendance would refer to them in that manner, because over the years I have used a bag of tools that I have collected to perfect what I call "Frugal Fetes with Flair and Flourish," with a goal of having these fetes appear anything but frugal.
So, what's stopping you from entertaining?
Now maybe because I have been having people over for most of my adult life, and because in my youth I was exposed to many of the inputs into successful entertaining by a mother that had a similar passion, that I find the process from start to end invigorating. I will admit that it's exhausting, but then I also think the end justifies the means. For me the whole purpose of entertaining is to be able to form relationship bonds or nurture those relationships that you have already formed.
Having genuine relationships are important to me, so I believe in being genuine in my entertaining. Who I am, and how I live on a daily basis are integral to my way of entertaining. For me my event has to reflect the real me. It's never about impressing my guests. It's more about sharing an inviting environment that is purposely sprinkled with food, drink and activities and something of special interest to my guests. OK, so they probably will be impressed, because I am into details. And, really it is all in the details. When you entertain out of love, you seek to find the details that will make your guests feel special.
My sister didn't believe she could have a party in her two-bedroom apartment. Well maybe not a soiree for fifty people, but having a dinner party for ten to 12 people, and even 20, was certainly do-able, as she found out, sit-down or buffet.
Now because I love to entertain so much, and because my personal budget for entertaining is certainly not open-ended, though it may appear that way, I have had to be creative in making my "special" events special, which is why I call my parties Frugal Fetes. Fetes being a carryover from my college days, when we spent a lot of time, more that I care to admit, feting. Though I call my events frugal, no-one in attendance would refer to them in that manner, because over the years I have used a bag of tools that I have collected to perfect what I call "Frugal Fetes with Flair and Flourish," with a goal of having these fetes appear anything but frugal.
So, what's stopping you from entertaining?
Do you believe that entertaining is cost prohibitive so you just can't afford to have people over?
- or that you can't entertain in your apartment?
- or that your home is too small?
- or that you don't have the right equipment?
- or that you can't have anyone over because some part of your home needs repairs?
- or that you just aren't sure how to set things up?
Tell me what's stopping you in the COMMENTS section.
I hope you come back to these pages as we share ideas and my bag of tools to ease the path to entertaining, regardless of the budget available.
I hope you come back to these pages as we share ideas and my bag of tools to ease the path to entertaining, regardless of the budget available.
If for whatever reason you stopped entertaining, let's get back to it. If you just haven't gotten up the nerve, let's get you started entertaining in your home, and nurturing those important relationships, and why not garner some oohs and aahs in the process.
2 comments:
I like your approach to entertaining! Now, what's stopping me...probably, some of the reasons you've mentioned. Since I have moved across country, the first thing I will need to do is make some new friends so that I will have a reason to party, and follow some of your great tips, of course.
Oh Judi, sometimes I wish I could find a reason not to entertain. With us every Sunday is a reason to hold Sunday Dinner. Not ever as elaborate as your gatherings.....Amy
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